Do you ever have those days when despite how much you have to do you feel you just don’t want to do anything? I had one of those days yesterday. This isn’t something that happens often for me so I felt really uncomfortable with it.
Here’s what happened:
I got up early to get some work done. I love that time of day. I can get quite a bit done before my son gets up for school. So there I was, sat in my office ready to do some work when this huge wave of resistance to doing anything washed over me.
At first I was quite irritated with myself. After all, I pride myself on being a kick ass action gal and now it had deserted me. I was all ready to give myself a severe kick up the ass but I suddenly stopped.
“Hold on there girl” I told myself. I continued “Before any ass kicking goes on, what is really going on here?” I pondered on this a while. Then I realised what it was. My husband is going into hospital in three days time to have a fairly big operation. It’s been a big weight on my mind for some time and now that the time is here, it is a real brain time consumer.
You see the person sat at my desk yesterday morning wasn’t Ali the Business Owner. It was Ali the wife. The woman that loves her husband and family more than anything in the world.
The point is this:
We all have many roles in life. It is inevitable that there will be times that one role steps into the space of another role. When this happens it is easy to slip into beating yourself up and being hard on yourself for not being some sort of superhero able to have perfect demarcation between all our roles. But that is totally unrealistic.
What to do when roles collide.
Stop. It is counter intuitive, as the natural urge is to push on regardless but just stop. Allow yourself time to step back from the situation. Assess what is really going on.
Ask what is most important right now? Look for what you can put in place to be in the role that is most important at that time. Re-arrange things to protect what is most important.
Drop some balls. Forget the pressure to juggle everything. It’s a flawed concept. Sometimes it is OK to drop balls. The trick is to chose which balls to drop rather than waiting for one to drop randomly.
Treat yourself with compassion. Beating yourself up serves no purpose whatsoever. Stop it.
So, take a look at what you do when your roles collide. Is it time to make some changes?