The other day I was browsing through posts by my facebook friends.

One in particular caught my eye.

It was a couple of really thought provoking questions asked by Pam Slim.

If you don’t know Pam, check out her website which is Escape from Cubicle Nation .

Both the questions Pam asked got me thinking and I found them really useful so thought I would share them with you here.

So, here they are:

Question 1 – What do you want to leave behind in 2011?

and

Question 2 – What do you want to bring into 2012?

I would like to add a third question to these two:

Question 3 – What do you need to do to make this happen?

So, as we head towards a new year, I invite you to ponder on these questions and see where they lead you.

Would love to hear what comes up for you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Feeling overwhelmed?

You are not alone. It strikes all of us at some time.

The way you deal with it will greatly influence how quickly you will stop feeling overwhelmed.

There are all sorts of ways to do this. Things like simplifying, saying no to stuff, improve scheduling, dropping non essential tasks – to name but a few.

Those things, whilst they can be very effective, are not dealing with the hidden cause of feeling overwhelmed.

So, what is the hidden cause of feeling overwhelmed?

Before I answer that question, here are some clues:

Feeling overwhelmed is one of the complaints I hear most often from my clients. Things such as:

• I feel overwhelmed by trying to juggle the business and family life.
• I feel overwhelmed by everything I have to do.
• I feel overwhelmed by being stuck in a rut.

Spot the link yet?

Overwhelm is a Feeling.

And where do feelings come from?

Our thoughts.

It is not all the stuff going on in your life that it is causing your feelings of overwhelm. You are creating your own feelings. Nothing else. It is what you are thinking about all the stuff going on that is triggering those feelings.

So, to truly master overwhelm you need to be dealing with what you are thinking about the situation. Then you will be in a better position to manage it.

Yes, my friends, the hidden cause of overwhelm is your Mindset.

That is why I bang on so much about the importance of developing your mindset.

Because it totally dictates how we feel, experience and respond to any given situation. And as a result, our response will dictate the outcome moving forward.

Master your Mindset = Master your Life (and your business and relationships too).

But let’s get back to the specific issue of feeling overwhelmed:

Every time you hear yourself say “I feel overwhelmed”, consider this:

• What are you thinking that is creating that feeling?
• What new thought do you need to focus on to create a different feeling?
• What are your feeling overwhelmed trigger points?
• What will you put in place to proactively manage these?

Be patient with yourself with this. You are starting to work on changing deeply ingrained thought processes. It takes time and practice.

Getting professional help with stuff like this can speed up the process. If you are struggling with this get some support.

Keep reminding yourself that overwhelm is a feeling and that feelings originate from your thoughts.

What will you do to learn how to manage your mindset better so that you feel overwhelmed less often?

I am interested to hear your experiences of dealing with overwhelm. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Do you ever get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling?

It can feel overwhelming can’t it?

It often shows up when you are looking to make change or do something new.

This feeling in itself isn’t a problem. It is how you respond to that feeling that is important.

If you are heading in a new direction you haven’t been in before, it is perfectly normal to get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling.

It is a normal part of getting on the path to making change.

But the problem with it is this:

When people feel they don’t know what to do, they often do nothing. As a result they stay stuck where they don’t want to be.

If this sounds familiar here is

What to do when you don’t know what to do.

First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it or allow frustration to take over. It serves no useful purpose. It is natural to not know what to do when you start something new. Be kind to yourself.

Secondly, be honest with yourself about if you are using that feeling as an excuse to do nothing. If you are, make a commitment to stop making excuses. They keep you stuck and let you off the hook of taking action.

Thirdly, for the love of God do something!!!

Seriously, just do something. It doesn’t even matter if the first thing you do isn’t right. You are just taking the first step to finding out what to do.

Once you have decided on what you want the outcome to be, come back to where you are and just focus on the first step to move you forward.

• Maybe the first step is just doing some research on the thing you want to achieve.
• Maybe it’s hiring someone knowledgeable in that area to help you
• Maybe it’s doing a brainstorm or a mini plan.

Remember:

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sorry to those of you who were expecting some sophisticated masterplan as the solution to what to do when you don’t know what to do. But it really is as simple as just do something. Take a baby step. And each step you take will lead to the next one.

Let go of needing to know “how” before you start. The “how” will be revealed along the way as you learn stuff and take action.

So, what baby step will you take today about the thing you don’t know how to do?

Do you need to embrace the “F” word more?

It is a word that everyone uses at sometime. Anyone that says that they don’t is lying. It is word that stops people in their tracks.

The “F” word in question that I am referring to is this:

FEAR

The other day I put out this on twitter:

Sometimes you have to do stuff that frightens the pants off you to move towards your vision #justsayin’

It generated discussion with fellow tweeters who were experiencing fear for whatever reason in their work life, business or personal life.

The truth about this tweet is that it was a reminder for myself as well as a message to my twitter followers.

You see, for years I let fear cripple me and keep me stuck in a life of mediocrity. It was only 10 years ago when I decided to jack in 14 years of peddling the corporate hamster wheel to work and live on my own terms that I discovered the joys and rewards of frightening the pants off yourself.

Recently, I find myself needing to embrace fear again. I am in the process of changing my business model. It is part of the next stage of our family’s master plan of designing our ideal life.

In order to reach for something big, something we have never done before, something that would be a dream come true, there is going to be fear involved.

This is because it is unchartered territory. Out of our comfort zone. Has a bit of risk involved.

But here is the thing:

If we don’t learn how to deal with fear effectively it grabs us in a vice like grip and keeps us stuck.

And that is why I am on a mission to get us all to embrace fear more. To stop it holding us back from what we really want to shoot for.

It’s OK to feal fear. It’s normal. It’s not some big failure. What is important is how we respond to it.

We need to be committed to learning more about our mindset. What drives it? How do you upgrade it to something that serves us better?

Tips for learning to embrace fear

1. Make a decision that you are going to start embracing fear and stop it holding you back.

2. Ask yourself this question:

What needs to happen so that the fear you are feeling is addressed or managed so that you can move forward?

Focus on nailing that.

3. Identify the source of your fear and deal with it fully.

4. Don’t be a Lone Ranger. Get support from a trusted family member or friend. Hire a coach, mentor or therapist.

Learning to deal with fear is liberating and will unshackle the chains of mediocrity so you can make things how you really want them.

Is fear something you find gets in your way or do you find it easy to deal with? Please share you views below.

Do you set yourself a theme for each year?

It isn’t something I normally do, but this year I have decided to have one.

My theme for this year is:

Stepping Up and Being Bold

The reason this theme is so apt is because my husband and I have been on a mission since we left the Corporate world back in 2001 to create our ideal work life, family life and lifestyle on our own terms.

This year we are going to be taking this to the next level so we are going to need to Step Up and Be Bold in a big way.

Just sitting back and cruising along in what we have created thus far wouldn’t be enough to make the new stuff we want to have happen become reality.

Let me share with you a couple of examples of where I will Step Up and Be Bold this year:

• By implementing a new business model that will be the foundation of the business providing a passive income and ensure the business serves us in living the life we really want for the long term.

• Building further the foundations of a location independent lifestyle and a new financial independence strategy that gives us true freedom in all areas of our life.

Change won’t happen in the safety, security and comfort of what we have already created.

We have to do new stuff. Things we have never done before. Even things that scare us. But as the saying goes:

If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got

Setting this theme for myself for this year has reminded me that to eradicate mediocrity and create our ideal work life, family life and lifestyle we are ALWAYS going to have to Step Up and Be Bold.

It needs to become a way of being, not just a one off theme.

So, with that in mind, I would like to invite you to take a few minutes out and consider these questions:

• What areas of your work life, family life and lifestyle do you need to Step Up and Be Bold in this year?
• What will it cost you if you don’t? (and I don’t mean financially!)
• What are the possibilities and potential if you do?
• Is that something worth shooting for?
• What action are you going to take to step up, be bold, eradicate mediocrity and design how you want things to really be in all areas of your life?

Once you have had a think about these questions, please share your thoughts and insights in the comments section below.

If this is a subject that resonates for you and you want more tips and resources to help you along, head to the top right hand corner of this page and sign up as in the coming weeks I am going to be arming my subscribers with practical tips and resources to design a successful home business, family life and lifestyle.

Related Posts:

• The Beauty of Imperfect Action
• Why You Should Break All The Rules

Hello. I’m Ali Davies. I’m a recovering Perfectionist.

There. I’ve said it.

I share this with you because the quest for perfection gets in the way for many people who work for themselves.

It can stop you moving forward and achieving results in all sorts of ways. Not only in your business, but also in your family life, relationships and lifestyle.

And if you are getting in your own way of moving forward, then that’s a problem.

Let me explain:

My own perfectionism addiction started many years ago. It was fuelled by my 14 years on the corporate hamster wheel were the striving for perfection seems to be a competitive pastime and badge of honour.

However, it was only when I left the corporate world back in 2001, that I realised that I was going to have to battle the demon perfectionism, or it could destroy what I was trying to achieve.

The reason being was that the constant striving for perfection was stopping me from moving forward. It got to a point where trying to make everything perfect was adding no value to what I was trying to achieve and was actually holding me back. Not good.

And here is the point:

Perfectionism doesn’t equal results.

It took me a while to get that. But when I did, boy was it liberating. Things happened faster. Results came more easily. Things became more fun.

“Good enough” became the new “perfect”.

All of a sudden, taking imperfect action became part of my business strategy and my personal life.

The Beauty of Imperfect Action

Here is the absolute beauty of taking imperfect action:

It moves things forward. It gets results. It frees up time. It feels liberating. It reduces stress. I could go on and on about the benefits.

And that is why, if you are a raging perfectionist, I invite you to join me in becoming a recovering perfectionist.

Embrace taking imperfect action. You won’t regret it.

Are you a recovering perfectionist? Is this something you struggle with? Please share your experiences on this subject in the comments below.

Photo credit: Martin Davies

My six year old son has an interest in animals and nature. He often asks about birds, which my husband and I know close to diddly squat about. So last week we took him on an organised bird watch walk so we could all learn more.

He loved it.

So much so, that it has inspired him to set up his first business. He has decided to make and sell bird nest boxes.

With the help of my husband he has made three “prototypes” for different kinds of birds. He has big plans, starting with converting one end of his play room into a “factory”.

His approach demonstrates the mindset that contributes to success. Here’s how:

Passion

He has chosen a business related to something he loves and has a real passion for.

Success Mindset tip: you are more likely to be successful doing something you love and feel passionate about.

Valuing his product/service

When we talked to him about how much each bird house would sell at, he suggested a higher price than the one his dad suggested. Not because he is a money grabbing little git – but because he is valuing his time, product and service and pricing accordingly.

Success mindset tip: undervaluing and underselling your product/service is the curse of many sole traders. If you don’t value your product and service, no one will.

Think big

He announced he would advertise his product on the TV – big thinking eh? (he may have to settle for YouTube to start with!).

Success mindset tip: successful entrepreneurs think big. Remember the saying:

Shoot for the moon. If you don’t reach it at least you will land among the stars – author unknown

Start thinking big, even if you can’t yet see how you will make it happen.

Self belief

During his excited talk of his business vision he asked us “where will the customers park?” He already totally believes he will have many customers for his product. He has no doubt. No self defeating statements like “I can’t get enough customers” that besets many sole traders.

Success mindset tip: fostering self belief is key to success. Also, asking questions is far more powerful than making statements. Read Why Questions Are the Answer! for more on this subject.

Giving back

We talked to him about using business to make money but also to help others. So he is going to give a percentage of each sale to a wildlife charity.

Success mindset tip – you get back what you give out. Using business to serve and help others will come back to you many fold.

No matter how much you learn about building a business, it is ultimately your mindset that will dictate the level of success you actually achieve.

Here’s why:

Mindset drives thought patterns
Thought patterns drive feelings
Feelings drive your actions/behaviour
Actions/behaviour drive results

So, spending time developing your mindset is a no brainer if you want to boost success in your business, family life and lifestyle.

How important do you think mindset is to success?

Related posts:

• Why Questions Are the Answer!
• It’s Time To Unleash Some Serious Attitude
• 7 Books to Challenge your Mindset

My son demonstrating attitude

Is having a bit of an attitude a bad thing?

Now let’s be clear on the sort of attitude we are talking about here.

I’m not talking about the sort of attitude that treats people badly, is rude or offensive.

I’m talking about the sort of attitude that sends out messages like

“I’m in control of my life and I’m going places”.

The sort of attitude that says “nothing’s getting in the way of what is most important to me, my family life and relationships”.

The sort of attitude that smacks of “nothing bad is happening on my watch”.

I’ll tell you why this subject has been on my mind:

There seems to be a huge epidemic of passiveness going on.

Passiveness that means that people are sitting back and doing nothing despite not being happy with the way their business impacts their family life, lifestyle and relationships. Despite the fact the business isn’t performing as they would like. Despite the fact they don’t feel like they have the life they want.

Why?

Well, I guess there are different contributing reasons for different people. Sometimes it is very complex sometimes it’s as simple as just being stuck in a rut.

But what I do see and hear going on quite a lot, is this sort of attitude:

“it’s just the way things are”

“there is nothing I can do about it, it’s the banks/government/spouse/dog’s fault” (delete as appropriate!)

They are key symptoms of the passiveness epidemic.

But what it boils down to is not taking personal responsibility for your own life.

If you have been allowing yourself to be a victim of the passiveness epidemic it might be time to take yourself aside and give yourself a bit of a talking to.

This is YOUR life. What are you waiting for?

Sitting back passively accepting crap, blaming others and waiting for someone else to sort the mess out just isn’t going to cut it.

Now, there is no magic pill or simple solution to this. But I do have a suggestion as a good starting point:

It’s time to unleash some serious attitude

Attitude that will support you in breaking free of the passiveness that is keeping you trapped, settling for less. An attitude that says “this is my life, my business, my family and I am taking 100% responsibility for what’s going on in it”.

Remember that attitude you had as a kid that your parents told you to put away? Not the rude one. The one that gave you the edge.

The one that said “hey, I can do anything”. Well it’s time to get it out, polish it up and unleash it. It’s time has come.

Eradicate the passiveness. Eradicate mediocrity. Create an attitude to help relight the fire in your belly and the passion to grab your business and life by the scruff of the neck and make it into what you really want it to be.

Do you agree that having a bit of an attitude can give you the edge or do you think having an attitude is always a bad thing?

I am a great believer in using resources to help our growth and success in business and living life. Whether those resources are books, getting specialist help or going on courses, I am all for it.

More often than not though, people are looking for resources outside of themselves to achieve that growth and success – books on marketing strategies, training courses on improving profits and so on.

Now don’t get me wrong, I totally subscribe to the whole learning and upgrading business skills to achieve goals.

However, quite often people overlook seeking out resources for the most important area for learning and growth that will deliver the biggest results in all areas of their life – growing and developing themselves.

Yet, it is those that look to learn and grow themselves that reap the most rewards and success in all areas of their business and life.

This is because it is WHO you are and how you think that drives your outcomes. Let me explain:

• Your mindset drives your thoughts and feelings.
• Your thoughts and feelings drive your behaviours and actions.
• Your behaviours and actions drive your results and outcomes.

So seeking out resources that allow you to grow and develop you and your mindset is a total no brainer.

With that in mind, I would like to share with you this quote as a mindset resource for you:

Only as high as I reach can I grow
Only as far as I seek can I go
Only as deep as I look can I see
Only as much as I dream can I be.
- Karen Raven

So, if you were to be apply this to your mindset, in the same way you would other types of resources for your business, what could you do to up your game?

Related posts:

Success Mindset: The Optimist’s Creed

Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

When you hear people listing out the pros and cons of running a business from home, one of the cons that often comes up is loneliness.

Personally, I don’t subscribe to the point of view that loneliness automatically goes with the territory of running a business from home. Here’s why:

There are some people excruciatingly lonely in their home business. There are other people that loneliness is never an issue for. Now I know some folk will argue that it depends on what you are like as a person. And to some extent that is true.

But here is the truth about loneliness when running a business from home:

It’s a choice.

It’s a result of mindset driving behaviour, choices and actions.

Let me explain:

The start point of being lonely running your business from home is acceptance. Acceptance that it is the norm or “just the way it is” (boy, I hate that phrase).

Acceptance is the killer of creativity

The minute you accept loneliness as inevitable it stops you looking for alternatives or creative solutions. It keeps you stuck where you are.

(Note: there are times acceptance of a situation is a healthy and constructive thing – this isn’t one of them!).

So, if loneliness is a result of mindset driving choices and behaviour patterns, it begs the question “what can we do to eradicate it?”:

5 Tips for Eradicating Loneliness from your Home Business

Stop Accepting it – what you accept you keep. So make the decision that loneliness will no longer be a part of life in your home business.

Schedule your week wisely – don’t block activities that require you to be on your own for days on end all together. Mix your week up. Give it variety in bite size chunks. Not only will it help you eradicate loneliness, it renews your energy, improves focus and gives you a boost.

Abandon your home office – now, those of you who know me well might be surprised by this comment as I am such a big advocate for running a home business and the freedom it can bring. What I mean is stop taking the phrase “home business” so literally. Look at what activities aren’t necessary to do at home and do them elsewhere. For example, a coffee shop or a hotel lounge.

Buddy up – make an arrangement with other home workers to work at the same location. Schedule regular breaks and just chat. Make sure the breaks are time bounded otherwise it just becomes a day long coffee break and no work gets done!!!

Build a support team – having people to bounce ideas around with, share challenges and get another perspective is a great way to kick loneliness into touch. Build this into your weekly schedule. (I will be talking more on this subject in the next blog post)

What is you take on this subject? Do you think loneliness is an inevitable result of running a business from home?