Do you ever get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling?

It can feel overwhelming can’t it?

It often shows up when you are looking to make change or do something new.

This feeling in itself isn’t a problem. It is how you respond to that feeling that is important.

If you are heading in a new direction you haven’t been in before, it is perfectly normal to get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling.

It is a normal part of getting on the path to making change.

But the problem with it is this:

When people feel they don’t know what to do, they often do nothing. As a result they stay stuck where they don’t want to be.

If this sounds familiar here is

What to do when you don’t know what to do.

First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it or allow frustration to take over. It serves no useful purpose. It is natural to not know what to do when you start something new. Be kind to yourself.

Secondly, be honest with yourself about if you are using that feeling as an excuse to do nothing. If you are, make a commitment to stop making excuses. They keep you stuck and let you off the hook of taking action.

Thirdly, for the love of God do something!!!

Seriously, just do something. It doesn’t even matter if the first thing you do isn’t right. You are just taking the first step to finding out what to do.

Once you have decided on what you want the outcome to be, come back to where you are and just focus on the first step to move you forward.

• Maybe the first step is just doing some research on the thing you want to achieve.
• Maybe it’s hiring someone knowledgeable in that area to help you
• Maybe it’s doing a brainstorm or a mini plan.

Remember:

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sorry to those of you who were expecting some sophisticated masterplan as the solution to what to do when you don’t know what to do. But it really is as simple as just do something. Take a baby step. And each step you take will lead to the next one.

Let go of needing to know “how” before you start. The “how” will be revealed along the way as you learn stuff and take action.

So, what baby step will you take today about the thing you don’t know how to do?

People don’t like to feel uncomfortable in any situation.

It feels… well…uncomfortable.

As a result, people will go to great lengths to avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, that avoidance strategy is a killer of making change, achieving results and creating success on your own terms.

Here’s why:

Change doesn’t happen by staying in your comfort zone.
Change only happens by stepping out of your comfort zone.

And thereby lies the challenge.

To make change and strike out in new directions requires doing something you haven’t done before.

It means rocking the status quo. It requires deciding not to settle for mediocrity.

All those things can feel scary. It can bring up all sorts of feelings like fear, resistance and self doubt. And that feels uncomfortable.

So, unless you are willing to expose yourself to feeling uncomfortable you are going to stay stuck. Believe me, I tried for many years to change a number of areas of my life in my safe little comfort zone and it does not work.

It was only when I stepped out of my comfort zone that the really good stuff started to happen in my work life, family life and lifestyle

You have to get out there and frighten the pants off yourself. You have to take risks. You have to feel fear and carry on regardless.

Here is something worth thinking about:

Thinking staying in your comfort zone is safe is a huge mistake. It’s not safe at all.

It’s not safe because you are risking a life time of just existing rather than living. You are settling for mediocrity in your work life, relationships and family life. That’s not safe. From where I’m sitting that is downright dangerous.

The bottom line is this:

If you are serious about creating change you have got to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

If you are willing to do that the sky is the limit. You could rocket your business results. You could transform your relationships. You could have the quality of life you really want.

To me, that sounds like something worth feeling a little uncomfortable for.

So I invite you take a look at what sort of feelings come up for you when you want to make change or create different results. What do you need to do to manage those feelings so that you can learn how to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable?

Hearing how others have dealt with this really helps other people who are struggling with it. So, please, step up and share with us an example of where you benefitted from dealing with feeling uncomfortable in the comments below. I have already shared one of mine below to get the ball rolling.

Related posts:

• Why You Should Break All The Rules
• Stepping Up and Being Bold
• Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

Would you like to improve the results you are getting in your business, family life and lifestyle?

If so, have a think about this:

How are you deciding what to spend your time on each day?

Unless you are spending your time on activities linked to your goals and the things that deliver results, you won’t achieve what you really want.

With that in mind, here are 4 steps to support you in keeping on track and focussing your time and effort in the right place.

Remember, these steps are as important to creating your ideal family life and lifestyle as they are to achieving your desired business results too!

Step 1 – Measure

Measuring the outcome of what you are investing your time in is crucial. It allows you to see what is working well and what isn’t. You can take corrective action to head off problems before they occur.

It is important to measure activities linked to achieving your goals and your desired results.

In your business – what are the key things that influence successful results? Measure those. (Tip: think of all the roles you would find on a Board of Directors – think of what they would measure. Remember: you are the CEO and entire Board of Directors for your home business)

In your family life and lifestyle – what things would make you feel really fulfilled, happy and add real quality to your life and relationships? Measure those.

Step 2 – Review

Measuring on its own isn’t going to change anything. It is what you do with the information you have measured that is the foundation to creating change and improving your results. Use what you have measured to review your progress and to drive your decision making.

Step 3 – Action plan

Once you have completed the first two steps, use the information to drive your decisions and action plans and to choose what you will spend your time on and focus on.

Step 4 – Repeat

If you are really serious about achieving your goals and getting the results you want, this process needs to be carried out regularly.

This will allow you to identify potential problems in advance. It is an opportunity to adapt, tweak and upgrade your plans to keep you going in the right direction and on track to achieve the results you want.

Put in place a regular schedule for this process.

I recommend to my clients that they set up a monthly “Board Meeting”. This meeting is to review what they have measured, make decisions based on the information they have gathered and set action plans based on this for the following month.

This is a very simple process but extremely powerful in its ability to drive results. Give it a try.

Do you do this already? If so, how does it work for you? If you don’t do this yet, what difference do you think it would make to your results if you did? Please share your views in the comments below.

This is a great time of year for asking ourselves questions that will give the New Year a serious kick start in creating change that will improve business success, family life and lifestyle.

Questions are a really powerful tool to kick start things in new directions.

I have put a few together here to get you started. So put some time aside. Sit down with a blank piece of paper and see what comes up when you ask yourself these questions:

7 Essential Questions to Kick Start the New Year

Apply all these questions to your business, family life and lifestyle as a whole rather than individually. That way you will avoid creating conflict between the different areas of your life:

1. What do you want to have achieved by the end of 2011.

2. What didn’t work well for you in 2010? Is it time to drop it or approach it differently?

3. What worked really well for you in 2010? How can you capitalise on that in 2011?

4. Does your business model support your ideal family life, the hours your want to work and revenue levels you want to create? If not, what do you need to change so that it does?

5. What support and resources do you need to achieve your 2011 goals? What action will you take to put them in place?

6. What habits do you need to eradicate to be more effective? What new habits do you need to create?

7. What personal skills do you need to upgrade/learn to take your business, family life and lifestyle to where you want it to be? What will you do about that?

Don’t be concerned if you don’t know the answers to these questions straight off. That is normal. But keep asking yourself the questions and start looking for steps you can take to start finding the answers.

Important reminder:

Change happens where there is enough space to take new action.

So if your schedule is permanently jam packed with day to day stuff nothing will ever change.What will you do to create some space to regularly ask yourself questions and create your ideal business, family life and lifestyle?

What question would you add to this list? What suggestions do you have for creating a great kick start to the New Year?

Related posts:

• Why Questions Are the Answer!

Have you noticed how many people place great importance on the ability to multi task?

It seems to me that it is viewed almost as a badge of honour to strive for and achieve. It seems to be viewed as the answer to the overload of tasks so many people seem to be trying to juggle.

But here’s the thing:

Multi tasking isn’t the most effective way to manage many tasks and can actually be counter productive

3 Myths of Multi tasking

Myth 1 – You get more done if you multi task. Not true. Your productivity actually reduces the more you multi task. You are also likely to make more mistakes. Tasks actually take longer when you are trying to complete them at the same time as other tasks.

Myth 2 – You will feel more in control of all your tasks and responsibilities. Not true. It actually increases stress levels. The more you are trying to do at any one time, the more your stress levels go up. Not good for your health. Also, it isn’t attractive to others if you are constantly a little cloud of stress hanging round them!

Myth 3 – You can get stuff done while being with your family. Not true. It detrimentally impacts family life. One of the most important things our kids (and other family members) need from us is our time and undivided attention when we are with them. It sends a very negative message to our kids if when we are spending time with them we are also juggling lots of other stuff, especially work.

The Alternative to Multi Tasking

So, here’s the good news:

It is OK to stop multi tasking. There are far more effective ways to get things done.

Here are a few suggestions to play with:

• Organise your tasks for the day into priority order and give them time slots.
• Focus on each task totally, giving you full attention until it is done.
• Remove distractions and temptations before you start each task.

The alternatives to multi tasking are much more enjoyable, effective and healthy. It will enhance your productivity levels and the quality of what you are going. All areas of your business will benefit. And most important of all, your family will love you for it because they will feel more important to you than your work because you are protecting and enhancing family life.

Now that we have busted some myths surrounding multi tasking, is it time for you to evaluate how you manage your business tasks and family life?

Many people are often so afraid of taking a risk that they chose to do nothing and stay stuck.

The problem with that is:

The pain of doing nothing and staying stuck is often more than the pain of taking the risk

Another common problem is people confusing gambling with taking a risk. To help address both these points here are:

10 important things to remember when taking risks:

1. Is taking this risk moving you toward your vision and goals? If it isn’t something that is taking you to where you want to be, why are you doing it? Make sure you are looking at the big picture so that you are taking the right risks for the right reasons.

2. What do you want taking this risk to achieve? Get clear on what the outcome needs to be. Use this to create an action plan.

3. What do you need to do for this risk to be successful? Taking a risk and crossing your fingers that it will all turn out OK won’t work. Be clear on what you need to do to set youself up to succeed.

4. What is the worst thing that can happen? If you don’t know the answer to this question you can’t assess if it is a risk worth taking or not.

Remember – only take calculated risks. Anything else is just gambling.

5. What would you do if the worst happens? ALWAYS have a contingency plan. This is your equivalent of a safety crash mat. Don’t be without it.

6. What needs to be in place to make this risk feel safe? Creating feelings of safety will reduce fear that gets in the way of taking action.

7. Fully assess a risk before acting. If you don’t, it is like buying a house without a structural survey first. You are gambling.

8. Measure progress regularly. This is vital yet often overlooked. This will allow you to spot potential problems before they happen and take evasive action.

9. Focus on the outcome. Once you have made the decision keep focussed on the outcome NOT on what could go wrong. You get what you focus on!

10. Taking Risks is about creating results, success and really living.

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice really – get busy living or get busy dying” – Quote from The Shawshank Redemption (great movie!)

What would you add to this list?

This is part 3 in a 3 part mini series. You can read parts 1 & 2 here:

Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

Taking Risks (Part 2) – Why you MUST do it!

Whether you love taking risks or avoid it like the plague, you can’t get away from this simple fact:

You have to take risks to achieve the success you want for yourself

Here is why:

• to create a new level of success you have to do something new and different
• that means making change
• making change involves…..TAKING A RISK

So, if you are not willing to take risk you are always going to stay stuck where you are, getting the same results you are getting now.

Now, I am not suggesting you throw caution to the wind and run around taking as many risks as you can with your fingers crossed it will catapult you to the success levels you want. Taking risk that really creates success is a lot more strategic than that.

My very first Business Mentor when I was a pup in the corporate world was my Uncle Chris. Something he said to me over 20 years ago has always stuck with me:

“Business isn’t about taking risks. It is about knowing which risks to take” – Uncle Chris

The same is true of life.

I used to be really risk adverse. As a result, I didn’t have the career or lifestyle I really wanted. I realised that to have what I really wanted I was going to have to take some serious risks. With Uncle Chris’ quote always in the back of my mind I learnt how to take calculated risks and boy am I glad I did. Taking risks is now part of my whole Business and Lifestyle strategy.

So, if you are serious about creating the Business Success you want for yourself and a real kick ass lifestyle remember Uncle Chris’ words and learn how to take calculated risks – it’s essential!

In part 3 of this Taking Risks mini series we will explore some do’s, don’ts and tips of taking calculated risks. In the meantime, please share your experiences, challenges and successes with taking risks in the comments below.

Related post: Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

Taking risks – do you love it? Do you avoid it at all costs?

Whatever your approach to risk taking, like it or not, it is an essential element of achieving success.

In this 3 part mini series we are going to explore risk taking. In part two, we will look at why you MUST take risks to achieve real success. In part three we will look at some do’s, don’ts and tips when taking risks.

So, to get in the spirit of the theme, I am going to take a risk. I am going to share with you a poem. This is a risk for me. I have never before included a poem as part of my business “chat”. My old corporate head doesn’t like it at all. It thinks you might think I am going a bit “woo woo” (I don’t do woo woo!).

But I am taking the risk anyway because I think it is thought provoking and relevant to the challenges facing many Home Based and Small Business Owners. It is also very relevant to what we are going to look at in the rest of this series.

So, have a read of the poem below. Even if it isn’t your bag, look for how it relates to you as a business owner, the way you run your business and the way you live your life:

Risk

by Author Unknown

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live
Chained by their certitude’s, they are a slave, they have forfeited their freedom
Only a person who risks is free.

Join me in the next post when we will look at how this relates to Business Success and Lifestyle Freedom.

There are many factors that contribute to your chances of achieving the business success and lifestyle freedom that you really want.

Things such as clear and specific goals, an effective business strategy, your mindset, good time management and so on.

However, sometimes it is the quite small and simple things, that are often overlooked, that can have a huge impact. They can create change and results really effectively. One of the things that falls into this category is asking questions.

Let me explain:

Statements change nothing!

One of the habits I see going on a lot, that keeps many people stuck, is making statements. Here are a few examples:

• I’m not making enough money
• I’m working too many hours
• I don’t have enough clients
• I don’t have enough quality time with my family
• My lifestyle is not how I would like it

Questions are the Answer!

All these statements might be very true but it is habit that doesn’t lead to actions and change. Statements used in this way, hold back progress.

A very simple and highly effective habit to create that turns this on it’s head is to ask questions instead. For example:

• What do I need to do to make more money?
• What needs to happen so that I can work less hours?
• What do I need to do to attract more than enough clients?
• What can I put in place to protect quality time with my family?
• What needs to change to create my ideal lifestyle?

See the difference?

Questions are infinitely more powerful than statements.

Questions lead to a different mindset about a situation. A different mindset leads to different behaviour and actions. Different behaviour and actions leads to different results.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing – Albert Einstein

So if you want to create real change and different results stop making statements about situations and get into the habit of asking questions of yourself instead.

There is only one obstacle to success. Yes, only one – YOU! Let me explain:

The confusion over business obstacles

People often confuse circumstances and situations as obstacles and setbacks. They aren’t. They are just things to be dealt with. They only become obstacles and setbacks when we apply that label to them. I am talking about things like losing clients, products/services not selling and so on. Stop seeing circumstances and situations as obstacles and setbacks. They aren’t, you have just been conditioned to think that they are. They are just messages that YOU need to do something different.

Stop getting in your own way

The only thing stopping us achieving the success we want is ourselves. This is great news. The reason it is great news is because changing ourselves to get out of our own way is totally within our control. So, are you willing and ready to get out of your own way and stop being the obstacle to your Business Success and Lifestyle Freedom? If you are, here are two key areas to focus on:

1. Mindset. Your mindset is creating the results you are currently experiencing. I have said it before but it is worth saying again, the reason upgrading your mindet is so vital is this:

Mindset creates thought patterns – thought patterns create feelings – feelings create behaviour/actions – actions create results.

The same mindset that created your current situation won’t get you out of it. It is time to upgrade your mindset

Tip: start researching and learning about how to create a real kick ass success mindset. Seek out good quality resources and people to learn from.

2. BEING a Business Owner. You can’t expect to get the results of a successful business owner unless you are behaving, making decisions and running your business as successful business owners do.

Tip: as with mindset, get out there and research and learn what successful business owners do that unsuccessful ones don’t. Also, you become what you surround yourself with so be careful who you let into your business circle. Avoid the BMW’s (bitch, moaners and whiners) like the plague.

This is the last day in the 5 days to Change for Success series. For me, today’s is the most important. You can do all the other tasks and activities we have talked about but if you don’t step up to this one you will always be capping the level of success you can achieve.

Related posts:

1.Is your Business a Vampire?

2.5 days to Change for Success – Day 1: Clear the decks!

3.5 days to Change for Success – Day 2: Building Strong Foundations

4.5 Days to Change for Success – Day 3: Getting into Action

5.5 Days to Change for Success – Day 4: How to Avoid Failure