Sometimes your life feels amazing.
Sometimes it sucks.

Sometimes your business is marching forward.
Sometimes you feel it is going backward.

Sometimes your relationships are brilliant.
Sometimes they run into difficulty.

Sometimes you feel you can achieve anything.
Sometimes the voices of self doubt are deafening.

Sometimes you feel you could take on the world.
Sometimes you just want to crawl back to bed and pull the covers over your head.

Life is like the sea with tides that ebb and flow.

But, there are loads of things we can do to shift the odds to favour the good stuff over bad stuff.

But expecting things to ALWAYS be good is setting ourselves up for some serious disappointment.

Keep this in mind:

Sometimes ALWAYS passes.

So, we must grab the good “sometimes” and make the most of them. We must look for ways to change ourselves, our lives and our business to shift the odds in their favour.

And we must respond appropriately to the not so good “sometimes” when they arise. Learn from them. Put things in place to reduce the chances of them raising their ugly heads again.

Then move on. Hanging on to stuff that has past and you can’t change serves no useful purpose.

You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond.

“Sometimes” is part of the way life is.

What do you need to change in your life and business to deal with the ebb and flow of your “sometimes?”

The other evening I was discussing some changes I am making to my business model with my husband.

I am currently making some quite hefty changes to my business as part of the ongoing plan of having a business that supports the Team Davies vision of our ideal life.

My husband was offering his perspective on the new changes when our eight year old son piped in with:

“It is like playing with Lego isn’t it?”

We both stopped and looked at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

He went on to say this:

“Well, if you are playing with Lego you don’t know what it will look like when it is finished. You just get started. You experiment. If you don’t like it you can take a few blocks off and try some different ones. You just use your imagination.”

It struck me that his perspective offers a great insight into the mindset of creating change.

It is very easy to get stuck before we even start because we get attached to having to know every step of the way before we move forward.

But you can’t know every step before you start. The steps appear as you move forward and learn and try things out.

You have got to be willing to experiment with the unknown.

It is just like playing with Lego. Use your imagination. Just start. Do small bits at a time.

“The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” – Mark Twain

You need to let go of having to know everything before you start if you wish to get unstuck and change something.

What you learn along the way will show you the next steps.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

So, the next time you feel stuck trying to make change happen, think of it as playing with Lego. That mindset could be the very thing that stops you staying stuck.

Ever wonder why it can feel really hard to make change happen?

Well, the causes can by many and complex. They also vary from person to person.

But today, we are just going to focus on one really important factor that impacts the majority of us.

And it is this:

We are all so permanently overscheduled that a lot of the time we are just peddling our day to day hamster wheels so damn hard that there is no time to do anything else.

And that is a huge problem if you want to change something in your life and/or business.

Here’s why:

Change only happens where there is time and space to do something different.

So, if you want to change any area of your life or business, the first step is to create time and space to work on the thing that you want to be different.

I know it can be hard if you feel you have umpteen things on your plate and it seems like you don’t have enough time to do it all.

But think about this:

If you can’t/won’t/don’t find a way to make some space you are saying “no” to change for the better and “yes” to the same old same old.

So, here is what I would like you to do:

Get out your diary. Yes, right now.

Put in your diary a minimum 30 minute time slot for this week. Protect that time slot like your life depends on it. Use that time to pick one thing you would like to change. And just get stuck in to working on the steps to make it happen.

I always encourage my 1-2-1 clients to have a minimum 2 hour slot a week of just time and space to work on change, new stuff, ideas etc. But you may find it easier to start with 30 mins a week and build up gradually.

Now, here is the important thing. Doing this as a one off is going to change diddly squat.

The power in doing this is to do it regularly. And by that I mean every week.

Here comes a bit of tough love folks – please don’t tell yourself “I don’t have enough time to do this”. Because you don’t have time NOT to do it, because that will keep you stuck.

Ask yourself this question:

What do I need to do to make sure I do this every week?

Because if you decide to find a way, you will.

Having time and space, on a regular basis, is the first step to creating change.

Find a way to make it part of your weekly routine.

Have fun playing with this.

Do you ever get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling?

It can feel overwhelming can’t it?

It often shows up when you are looking to make change or do something new.

This feeling in itself isn’t a problem. It is how you respond to that feeling that is important.

If you are heading in a new direction you haven’t been in before, it is perfectly normal to get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling.

It is a normal part of getting on the path to making change.

But the problem with it is this:

When people feel they don’t know what to do, they often do nothing. As a result they stay stuck where they don’t want to be.

If this sounds familiar here is

What to do when you don’t know what to do.

First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it or allow frustration to take over. It serves no useful purpose. It is natural to not know what to do when you start something new. Be kind to yourself.

Secondly, be honest with yourself about if you are using that feeling as an excuse to do nothing. If you are, make a commitment to stop making excuses. They keep you stuck and let you off the hook of taking action.

Thirdly, for the love of God do something!!!

Seriously, just do something. It doesn’t even matter if the first thing you do isn’t right. You are just taking the first step to finding out what to do.

Once you have decided on what you want the outcome to be, come back to where you are and just focus on the first step to move you forward.

• Maybe the first step is just doing some research on the thing you want to achieve.
• Maybe it’s hiring someone knowledgeable in that area to help you
• Maybe it’s doing a brainstorm or a mini plan.

Remember:

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sorry to those of you who were expecting some sophisticated masterplan as the solution to what to do when you don’t know what to do. But it really is as simple as just do something. Take a baby step. And each step you take will lead to the next one.

Let go of needing to know “how” before you start. The “how” will be revealed along the way as you learn stuff and take action.

So, what baby step will you take today about the thing you don’t know how to do?

People don’t like to feel uncomfortable in any situation.

It feels… well…uncomfortable.

As a result, people will go to great lengths to avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, that avoidance strategy is a killer of making change, achieving results and creating success on your own terms.

Here’s why:

Change doesn’t happen by staying in your comfort zone.
Change only happens by stepping out of your comfort zone.

And thereby lies the challenge.

To make change and strike out in new directions requires doing something you haven’t done before.

It means rocking the status quo. It requires deciding not to settle for mediocrity.

All those things can feel scary. It can bring up all sorts of feelings like fear, resistance and self doubt. And that feels uncomfortable.

So, unless you are willing to expose yourself to feeling uncomfortable you are going to stay stuck. Believe me, I tried for many years to change a number of areas of my life in my safe little comfort zone and it does not work.

It was only when I stepped out of my comfort zone that the really good stuff started to happen in my work life, family life and lifestyle

You have to get out there and frighten the pants off yourself. You have to take risks. You have to feel fear and carry on regardless.

Here is something worth thinking about:

Thinking staying in your comfort zone is safe is a huge mistake. It’s not safe at all.

It’s not safe because you are risking a life time of just existing rather than living. You are settling for mediocrity in your work life, relationships and family life. That’s not safe. From where I’m sitting that is downright dangerous.

The bottom line is this:

If you are serious about creating change you have got to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

If you are willing to do that the sky is the limit. You could rocket your business results. You could transform your relationships. You could have the quality of life you really want.

To me, that sounds like something worth feeling a little uncomfortable for.

So I invite you take a look at what sort of feelings come up for you when you want to make change or create different results. What do you need to do to manage those feelings so that you can learn how to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable?

Hearing how others have dealt with this really helps other people who are struggling with it. So, please, step up and share with us an example of where you benefitted from dealing with feeling uncomfortable in the comments below. I have already shared one of mine below to get the ball rolling.

Related posts:

• Why You Should Break All The Rules
• Stepping Up and Being Bold
• Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

Would you like to improve the results you are getting in your business, family life and lifestyle?

If so, have a think about this:

How are you deciding what to spend your time on each day?

Unless you are spending your time on activities linked to your goals and the things that deliver results, you won’t achieve what you really want.

With that in mind, here are 4 steps to support you in keeping on track and focussing your time and effort in the right place.

Remember, these steps are as important to creating your ideal family life and lifestyle as they are to achieving your desired business results too!

Step 1 – Measure

Measuring the outcome of what you are investing your time in is crucial. It allows you to see what is working well and what isn’t. You can take corrective action to head off problems before they occur.

It is important to measure activities linked to achieving your goals and your desired results.

In your business – what are the key things that influence successful results? Measure those. (Tip: think of all the roles you would find on a Board of Directors – think of what they would measure. Remember: you are the CEO and entire Board of Directors for your home business)

In your family life and lifestyle – what things would make you feel really fulfilled, happy and add real quality to your life and relationships? Measure those.

Step 2 – Review

Measuring on its own isn’t going to change anything. It is what you do with the information you have measured that is the foundation to creating change and improving your results. Use what you have measured to review your progress and to drive your decision making.

Step 3 – Action plan

Once you have completed the first two steps, use the information to drive your decisions and action plans and to choose what you will spend your time on and focus on.

Step 4 – Repeat

If you are really serious about achieving your goals and getting the results you want, this process needs to be carried out regularly.

This will allow you to identify potential problems in advance. It is an opportunity to adapt, tweak and upgrade your plans to keep you going in the right direction and on track to achieve the results you want.

Put in place a regular schedule for this process.

I recommend to my clients that they set up a monthly “Board Meeting”. This meeting is to review what they have measured, make decisions based on the information they have gathered and set action plans based on this for the following month.

This is a very simple process but extremely powerful in its ability to drive results. Give it a try.

Do you do this already? If so, how does it work for you? If you don’t do this yet, what difference do you think it would make to your results if you did? Please share your views in the comments below.

Do you set yourself a theme for each year?

It isn’t something I normally do, but this year I have decided to have one.

My theme for this year is:

Stepping Up and Being Bold

The reason this theme is so apt is because my husband and I have been on a mission since we left the Corporate world back in 2001 to create our ideal work life, family life and lifestyle on our own terms.

This year we are going to be taking this to the next level so we are going to need to Step Up and Be Bold in a big way.

Just sitting back and cruising along in what we have created thus far wouldn’t be enough to make the new stuff we want to have happen become reality.

Let me share with you a couple of examples of where I will Step Up and Be Bold this year:

• By implementing a new business model that will be the foundation of the business providing a passive income and ensure the business serves us in living the life we really want for the long term.

• Building further the foundations of a location independent lifestyle and a new financial independence strategy that gives us true freedom in all areas of our life.

Change won’t happen in the safety, security and comfort of what we have already created.

We have to do new stuff. Things we have never done before. Even things that scare us. But as the saying goes:

If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got

Setting this theme for myself for this year has reminded me that to eradicate mediocrity and create our ideal work life, family life and lifestyle we are ALWAYS going to have to Step Up and Be Bold.

It needs to become a way of being, not just a one off theme.

So, with that in mind, I would like to invite you to take a few minutes out and consider these questions:

• What areas of your work life, family life and lifestyle do you need to Step Up and Be Bold in this year?
• What will it cost you if you don’t? (and I don’t mean financially!)
• What are the possibilities and potential if you do?
• Is that something worth shooting for?
• What action are you going to take to step up, be bold, eradicate mediocrity and design how you want things to really be in all areas of your life?

Once you have had a think about these questions, please share your thoughts and insights in the comments section below.

If this is a subject that resonates for you and you want more tips and resources to help you along, head to the top right hand corner of this page and sign up as in the coming weeks I am going to be arming my subscribers with practical tips and resources to design a successful home business, family life and lifestyle.

Related Posts:

• The Beauty of Imperfect Action
• Why You Should Break All The Rules

This is a great time of year for asking ourselves questions that will give the New Year a serious kick start in creating change that will improve business success, family life and lifestyle.

Questions are a really powerful tool to kick start things in new directions.

I have put a few together here to get you started. So put some time aside. Sit down with a blank piece of paper and see what comes up when you ask yourself these questions:

7 Essential Questions to Kick Start the New Year

Apply all these questions to your business, family life and lifestyle as a whole rather than individually. That way you will avoid creating conflict between the different areas of your life:

1. What do you want to have achieved by the end of 2011.

2. What didn’t work well for you in 2010? Is it time to drop it or approach it differently?

3. What worked really well for you in 2010? How can you capitalise on that in 2011?

4. Does your business model support your ideal family life, the hours your want to work and revenue levels you want to create? If not, what do you need to change so that it does?

5. What support and resources do you need to achieve your 2011 goals? What action will you take to put them in place?

6. What habits do you need to eradicate to be more effective? What new habits do you need to create?

7. What personal skills do you need to upgrade/learn to take your business, family life and lifestyle to where you want it to be? What will you do about that?

Don’t be concerned if you don’t know the answers to these questions straight off. That is normal. But keep asking yourself the questions and start looking for steps you can take to start finding the answers.

Important reminder:

Change happens where there is enough space to take new action.

So if your schedule is permanently jam packed with day to day stuff nothing will ever change.What will you do to create some space to regularly ask yourself questions and create your ideal business, family life and lifestyle?

What question would you add to this list? What suggestions do you have for creating a great kick start to the New Year?

Related posts:

• Why Questions Are the Answer!

Have you noticed how many people place great importance on the ability to multi task?

It seems to me that it is viewed almost as a badge of honour to strive for and achieve. It seems to be viewed as the answer to the overload of tasks so many people seem to be trying to juggle.

But here’s the thing:

Multi tasking isn’t the most effective way to manage many tasks and can actually be counter productive

3 Myths of Multi tasking

Myth 1 – You get more done if you multi task. Not true. Your productivity actually reduces the more you multi task. You are also likely to make more mistakes. Tasks actually take longer when you are trying to complete them at the same time as other tasks.

Myth 2 – You will feel more in control of all your tasks and responsibilities. Not true. It actually increases stress levels. The more you are trying to do at any one time, the more your stress levels go up. Not good for your health. Also, it isn’t attractive to others if you are constantly a little cloud of stress hanging round them!

Myth 3 – You can get stuff done while being with your family. Not true. It detrimentally impacts family life. One of the most important things our kids (and other family members) need from us is our time and undivided attention when we are with them. It sends a very negative message to our kids if when we are spending time with them we are also juggling lots of other stuff, especially work.

The Alternative to Multi Tasking

So, here’s the good news:

It is OK to stop multi tasking. There are far more effective ways to get things done.

Here are a few suggestions to play with:

• Organise your tasks for the day into priority order and give them time slots.
• Focus on each task totally, giving you full attention until it is done.
• Remove distractions and temptations before you start each task.

The alternatives to multi tasking are much more enjoyable, effective and healthy. It will enhance your productivity levels and the quality of what you are going. All areas of your business will benefit. And most important of all, your family will love you for it because they will feel more important to you than your work because you are protecting and enhancing family life.

Now that we have busted some myths surrounding multi tasking, is it time for you to evaluate how you manage your business tasks and family life?

Many people are often so afraid of taking a risk that they chose to do nothing and stay stuck.

The problem with that is:

The pain of doing nothing and staying stuck is often more than the pain of taking the risk

Another common problem is people confusing gambling with taking a risk. To help address both these points here are:

10 important things to remember when taking risks:

1. Is taking this risk moving you toward your vision and goals? If it isn’t something that is taking you to where you want to be, why are you doing it? Make sure you are looking at the big picture so that you are taking the right risks for the right reasons.

2. What do you want taking this risk to achieve? Get clear on what the outcome needs to be. Use this to create an action plan.

3. What do you need to do for this risk to be successful? Taking a risk and crossing your fingers that it will all turn out OK won’t work. Be clear on what you need to do to set youself up to succeed.

4. What is the worst thing that can happen? If you don’t know the answer to this question you can’t assess if it is a risk worth taking or not.

Remember – only take calculated risks. Anything else is just gambling.

5. What would you do if the worst happens? ALWAYS have a contingency plan. This is your equivalent of a safety crash mat. Don’t be without it.

6. What needs to be in place to make this risk feel safe? Creating feelings of safety will reduce fear that gets in the way of taking action.

7. Fully assess a risk before acting. If you don’t, it is like buying a house without a structural survey first. You are gambling.

8. Measure progress regularly. This is vital yet often overlooked. This will allow you to spot potential problems before they happen and take evasive action.

9. Focus on the outcome. Once you have made the decision keep focussed on the outcome NOT on what could go wrong. You get what you focus on!

10. Taking Risks is about creating results, success and really living.

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice really – get busy living or get busy dying” – Quote from The Shawshank Redemption (great movie!)

What would you add to this list?

This is part 3 in a 3 part mini series. You can read parts 1 & 2 here:

Taking Risks (Part 1) – An Essential Part of Success

Taking Risks (Part 2) – Why you MUST do it!