How do you know that you are on the right track to achieve what you really want in your business and life?

And once you are on the right track, how do you stay there?

Well, there are two essential things you MUST put in place to guide you. They are:

1. Create your own Success Definition

Having a definition of success that you have carved out for yourself will be a guide for you to follow when making decisions, setting goals and creating action plans.

It will help you make better choices for yourself. And as a result of making better choices, you will get better results.

It is easy to get caught in the trap of chasing success as defined by society, family and peers.

But ask yourself this

“Whose definition of success do I want to spend my one and only life living by?”

Take time to create your own definition of success for all areas of your life.

Think of it almost as a navigation tool steering you down the right path and keeping you there.

2. Get clear on your Core Values

Your core values are things that are central to who you are. They are the things, that when you are living and working by them, make you feel fulfilled, alive and living life fully.

You can tell when your core values are being trampled all over because life and work feel a push, a struggle and totally unfulfilling.

People who orientate their life and business around their core values are the people who are more likely to be living a fulfilled life, getting the results they really want and feeling successful on their own terms.

So, take some time out to get clear on what your core values are.

Once you have your definition of success and your core values nailed, make sure your vision, goals and action plans are built on them.

To make choices and decisions easier for yourself, keep asking:

“Does this fit with my core values and definition of success?”

If you head off on a journey without a map of how you will get to your destination, chances are you are going to end up taking the wrong road.

The same is true of trying to create the life and business you really want without a definition of success or knowing your core values.

I encourage you to get stuck in to creating your own definition of success based on your core values.

Then use them to drive your choices and decisions to get on the right path and keep you there.

What are your views on this topic? Please share in the comments below.

The other day I was browsing through posts by my facebook friends.

One in particular caught my eye.

It was a couple of really thought provoking questions asked by Pam Slim.

If you don’t know Pam, check out her website which is Escape from Cubicle Nation .

Both the questions Pam asked got me thinking and I found them really useful so thought I would share them with you here.

So, here they are:

Question 1 – What do you want to leave behind in 2011?

and

Question 2 – What do you want to bring into 2012?

I would like to add a third question to these two:

Question 3 – What do you need to do to make this happen?

So, as we head towards a new year, I invite you to ponder on these questions and see where they lead you.

Would love to hear what comes up for you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

5th November 2011 was a very special date for me.

It was the 10 year anniversary of my first day of going Self Employed.

10 years ago I escaped the corporate rat race and embarked on a quest to design life, work, success and freedom on my own terms.

There have been many lessons that I have learnt along the way. Here are just a few of them:

Top 10 Lessons from 10 years being Self Employed

1. It is vital to create your own definition of success based on your core values to live and work on your own terms.

2. The path to business success & the ideal life isn’t linear. Accepting this is essential.

3. Not everyone works from the same level of integrity, standards and ethics. Be careful who you let into your space.

4. You can’t be firing on all cylinders 100% of the time. Be kind to yourself if you lose your mojo sometimes. Beating yourself up serves no purpose.

5. Mindset dictates your results in all areas of your life. Being committed to learning how to improve it is a no brainer.

6. When the brown stuff hits the fan, there is always an opportunity lurking in there somewhere.

7. Being a Lone Ranger is a recipe for disaster. It is important to build a support team of like minded people who share the same values.

8. Working with GOOD QUALITY mentors & coaches speeds up progress and results.

9. Having a clear vision of where you want your business AND life to go is key to guide your actions and avoid wasting time on stuff that doesn’t move you forward.

10. Relationships are the life blood of the Self Employed and a fulfilling life.

I am not going to give you a load of BS about how the last 10 years have been a breeze. Because it hasn’t. There have been ups and downs, challenges to overcome and some whopping mistakes!

But through all of that, it has all been totally worth it because:

The freedom of living and working on your own terms, by your own definition of success, is priceless.

As I finish reflecting on the lessons of the last 10 years and look towards what I intend to create in my business and life moving forward, I invite you to join me in making a commitment to yourself to grab the unlimited potential being Self Employed offers.

Make a commitment to design your ideal life and business and start taking steps to turn it into reality.

You up for it?

What difference would it make if you made a commitment to radically simplify your life and business?

And why should you bother or care?

Here’s why:

Simplicity liberates. Complexity Kills. Simplify or Die.

The level of complexity you are allowing in your business, life and relationships directly impacts the results you want to achieve.

Complexity can dramatically influence your level of success in all areas of your life. This is because it has a nasty habit of strangling the life out of whatever it touches.

And that is why I say simplifying is your secret weapon to influencing success on your own terms.

We need to take 100% responsibility for proactively eradicating complexity to reap the benefits.

If you are still wondering why you should give a damn about simplifying your life, consider this:

The Hidden Costs of Complexity

The more complex stuff is, the harder it is to achieve results. Would you prefer your path to success to be harder or easier? A no brainer, hey?

Complexity can create stress, confusion, overwhelm and that feeling of being in sinking sand.

It can strangle the life out of your business, relationships and life. Don’t underestimate its destructive forces.

Complexity is the thief of potential.

The solution is to simplify like crazy.

The Benefits of Simplifying Your Life

When you get into the simplifying habit, things become much easier. Quality results are more likely to be achieved. Life becomes more fun and enjoyable. The pace of life becomes closer to what it should be.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” – Leonardo Da Vinci

How to start Simplifying your Life

Awareness is the first step in any change. So creating awareness is your starting point. Get a piece of paper and brainstorm these points:

• What are you DOING that creates complexity in your business, life and relationships?
• What are you ALLOWING that creates complexity?
• What could you do to start eradicating it?
• What benefits could you achieve if things were a lot simpler?

Once you have completed your brainstorm, start looking for actions you can take to simplify your life, business and relationships.

It is time to escape the slavery of complexity and claim the freedom that comes when you simplify your life.

Get radical folks. Simplify like crazy. It will smooth the path to success on your own terms.

And that is why simplifying is your secret weapon to success.

Do you have any tips of simplifying? If so, please share them in the comments below?

I recently left the majority of Linkedin groups that I had joined.

The reason being is that I got totally hacked off with the endless self promotion of members ramming their stuff down my throat.

I found very little value in them.

I am a big believer in the the power, potential and possibility of a community of people coming together from a position of genuinely supporting each other.

And that is what I was looking for in the Linkedin groups I had joined.

A community that want to:

1. Discuss shared topics of interest.
2. Ask for help with a challenge, knowledge or finding information.
3. Brainstorm ideas and get others perspectives.
4. Share experiences, challenges and solutions.
5. Be part of a supportive, encouraging, community.
6. Connect and build relationships with like minded people.

But I didn’t find this in the Linkedin groups I joined. The noise of the self promotion brigade was just too loud.

However, I am a big believer in this motto:

If what you want doesn’t exist, create it yourself.

So, I have decided to set up a Linkedin group that IS a pure support group for Self Employed Professionals. The ethos of the group is based on the 6 points above.

In order to protect the integrity of the group, I think it is appropriate to put a few boundaries in place. So the following rules will apply:

• No selling, marketing or promoting your products and services
• No promoting of your own blog posts or articles.
• No asking people to become affiliates

Do the 6 points listed above sound like the sort of support group you would enjoy being a part of?

If so, come on over and join us. My aim is to make this a really valuable resource and community for you. You can join the group by clicking the link below:

Support Group for Self Employed Professionals

http://www.linkedin.com/groups?about=&gid=4130115

Looking forward to seeing you there.

Feeling overwhelmed?

You are not alone. It strikes all of us at some time.

The way you deal with it will greatly influence how quickly you will stop feeling overwhelmed.

There are all sorts of ways to do this. Things like simplifying, saying no to stuff, improve scheduling, dropping non essential tasks – to name but a few.

Those things, whilst they can be very effective, are not dealing with the hidden cause of feeling overwhelmed.

So, what is the hidden cause of feeling overwhelmed?

Before I answer that question, here are some clues:

Feeling overwhelmed is one of the complaints I hear most often from my clients. Things such as:

• I feel overwhelmed by trying to juggle the business and family life.
• I feel overwhelmed by everything I have to do.
• I feel overwhelmed by being stuck in a rut.

Spot the link yet?

Overwhelm is a Feeling.

And where do feelings come from?

Our thoughts.

It is not all the stuff going on in your life that it is causing your feelings of overwhelm. You are creating your own feelings. Nothing else. It is what you are thinking about all the stuff going on that is triggering those feelings.

So, to truly master overwhelm you need to be dealing with what you are thinking about the situation. Then you will be in a better position to manage it.

Yes, my friends, the hidden cause of overwhelm is your Mindset.

That is why I bang on so much about the importance of developing your mindset.

Because it totally dictates how we feel, experience and respond to any given situation. And as a result, our response will dictate the outcome moving forward.

Master your Mindset = Master your Life (and your business and relationships too).

But let’s get back to the specific issue of feeling overwhelmed:

Every time you hear yourself say “I feel overwhelmed”, consider this:

• What are you thinking that is creating that feeling?
• What new thought do you need to focus on to create a different feeling?
• What are your feeling overwhelmed trigger points?
• What will you put in place to proactively manage these?

Be patient with yourself with this. You are starting to work on changing deeply ingrained thought processes. It takes time and practice.

Getting professional help with stuff like this can speed up the process. If you are struggling with this get some support.

Keep reminding yourself that overwhelm is a feeling and that feelings originate from your thoughts.

What will you do to learn how to manage your mindset better so that you feel overwhelmed less often?

I am interested to hear your experiences of dealing with overwhelm. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

I love great inspirational quotes.

Particularly the ones that make you stop and think, give a fresh perspective and really inspire.

So, for those of you that also enjoy great inspirational quotes, thought I would share with you my favourites:

Top 50 Inspirational Quotes

1. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein.

2. “Act now. There is never any time but now, and there never will be any time but now.” – Wallace Wattles

3. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

4. “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering the attitudes of his mind.” – William James

5. “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin

6. “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

7. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” – Robert Frost

8. “You’ve got to win in your mind before you win in your life.” – John Addison

9. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

10. “An ounce of doing things is worth a pound of theorizing.” – Wallace Wattles

11. “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

12. “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” – Stephen Covey

13. “The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.” – Joseph Joubert

14. ”Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – Winston Churchill

15. “Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel Stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.” – Dara Henderson

16. “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

17. “Vision without action is just a dream, action without vision just passes the time, vision with action can change the world” – Nelson Mandela

18. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Eliot

19. “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

20. “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose yours.” – Paulo Coelho

21. “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” – John F. Kennedy

22. “I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” – James Joyce

23. “I have learned that it’s not WHAT I have in my life but WHO I have in my life that counts.” – Unknown

24. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

25. “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn

26. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci

27. “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” – Goethe

28. “It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined” – Henry James

29. “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

30. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

31. “Try not. Do or do not. There is no Try.” – Yoda (Star Wars!)

32. “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” – William Wallace

33. “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

34. “There are no limits on what you can achieve with your life, except the limits you accept in your mind” – Brian Tracy

35.“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

36. “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

37. “When I thought I couldn’t go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck.” – Estee Lauder

38. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

39. “The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” – Tom Bodett

40. “Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso

41. “The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” – Mark Twain

42. “There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley

43. “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

44. “Nothing important was ever achieved without someone taking a chance.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

45. “I will go anywhere as long as it is forward.” – David Livingston

46. “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

47. “The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

48. “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas A. Edison

49. “Strive for progress, not perfection.” – Unknown

50. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

What is your favourite insirational quote? Please share it in the comments below.

How you deal with setbacks can be the difference between moving forward and getting the results you want or staying stuck in the doo doo.

I don’t mind sharing with you that I have experienced some real whoppers.

And boy have I learnt some important lessons from them. One of the most powerful lessons I have learnt is this:

We can’t always choose what happens to us, but we can always choose how we respond

So, with that in mind, here are three easy steps that work a treat when dealing with setbacks:

Step 1 – Learn the Lesson

When a setback happens, whether it be a whopper or just a tiddly little one, look for the lesson.

There is ALWAYS a lesson.

Look hard for the lesson instead of wallowing in the misery of the setback. Don’t fall into the trap of victim mentality. That serves no purpose at all. It will rob you of taking 100% responsibility of what has gone wrong.

Yes, I am suggesting you take 100% responsibility for the setback. Because it is only when we take 100% responsibility for everything going on in our work life and personal life that we can create effective change.

Ditch the quest for blame and assigning fault. That is a waste of time and energy. It doesn’t achieve anything and it certainly doesn’t move anything forward.

Step 2 – Apply the learning

So, you have learnt the lesson, right? Next you have to apply the learning.

Look at the lesson you have learnt and ask yourself:

What do I need to do to stop this sort of setback happening again?

APPLY IT.

Unless you apply the learning you are pretty much inviting that particular setback to happen again.

Hint: this means taking action folks. It’s not going to magically happen by just thinking about it.

Step 3 – Move on

Have you ever come across folk who are endlessly dwelling on a setback they have experienced, sometimes for years? Energy draining or what? They are just keeping themselves stuck.

Holding on to a setback keeps you stuck. Let it go. Move on.

Once it’s done you can’t change it. You can only:

Learn the lesson. Apply the learning. Move on.

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Do you ever get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling?

It can feel overwhelming can’t it?

It often shows up when you are looking to make change or do something new.

This feeling in itself isn’t a problem. It is how you respond to that feeling that is important.

If you are heading in a new direction you haven’t been in before, it is perfectly normal to get that “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know where to start” feeling.

It is a normal part of getting on the path to making change.

But the problem with it is this:

When people feel they don’t know what to do, they often do nothing. As a result they stay stuck where they don’t want to be.

If this sounds familiar here is

What to do when you don’t know what to do.

First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it or allow frustration to take over. It serves no useful purpose. It is natural to not know what to do when you start something new. Be kind to yourself.

Secondly, be honest with yourself about if you are using that feeling as an excuse to do nothing. If you are, make a commitment to stop making excuses. They keep you stuck and let you off the hook of taking action.

Thirdly, for the love of God do something!!!

Seriously, just do something. It doesn’t even matter if the first thing you do isn’t right. You are just taking the first step to finding out what to do.

Once you have decided on what you want the outcome to be, come back to where you are and just focus on the first step to move you forward.

• Maybe the first step is just doing some research on the thing you want to achieve.
• Maybe it’s hiring someone knowledgeable in that area to help you
• Maybe it’s doing a brainstorm or a mini plan.

Remember:

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sorry to those of you who were expecting some sophisticated masterplan as the solution to what to do when you don’t know what to do. But it really is as simple as just do something. Take a baby step. And each step you take will lead to the next one.

Let go of needing to know “how” before you start. The “how” will be revealed along the way as you learn stuff and take action.

So, what baby step will you take today about the thing you don’t know how to do?

Recently I received the sort of telephone call we all hope we will never receive:

“Ali, I am a paramedic. I am calling to let you know your husband has been in a car crash”

The paramedic would not tell me how he was other than he was trapped in the car, a specialist medical response team was on the way and the fire brigade were working on getting him out.

I can’t put into words how getting that sort of call feels.

At the time the call came in, I was hosting my monthly Self Employed Women Support Group. The group immediately stepped up to do what they could to support me and to get me to the hospital.

Because he was trapped in the car I arrived at the hospital well before him and it was over an hour before I actually got to see him and find out what state he was in.

The wait was hell.

The good news is that we were “lucky”. His injuries were not as bad as first thought. He had a number of broken ribs, breathing difficulties and extensive bruising. We are grateful it was no worse given how bad the smash was. He is now well on the way to a full recovery.

Wake up Call

It is easy to take your plans for life for granted and think you have plenty of time to make them happen. But the reality is that you don’t know when something will suddenly happen that will rob you of the opportunity to have the life you want with the people you want.

Mr D and I have been designing the life we really want since we escaped the corporate rat race 10 years ago. Our design life plans are based on our own definition of success and our core values.

Yet in the aftermath of the accident we realised we had become comfortable on our journey to the next stage of our ideal lifestyle. As a result we had started to play safe, take less of the actions that will take us to the next level of where we want to go. Progress had slowed down. Mediocrity was rearing it’s ugly head (I don’t do mediocrity!).

The Power of a Blank Piece of Paper

Once Mr D was well on the mend, I felt a real desire to go back to scratch and rethink everything. Accident aside, it feels like the perfect time to do it as this year is the 10th anniversay of escaping the corporate world.

So, the other day I got out a blank piece of paper. It has stayed blank for a good few days. Every time I have looked at it, it has stared back at me – blankly!

But it has started to become really powerful.

Powerful because every time I look at it, it has started to inspire me with new ideas and possibilities. It is really making me think long and hard about what “ideal” is in all areas of life moving forward. It is daring me to shoot for what I really want to do.  Clarity around the next phase of designing my ideal business and lifestyle with my husband & son has been kick started.

Yes, a blank piece of paper can be that powerful.

The mediocrity that had started to creep in is about to have it’s sorry ass kicked into touch.

I am sharing this personal experience with you to get you to think about what changes you need to make to have the life you really want. Don’t wait for a wake up call. They don’t always have the happy ending that ours did.

So, I invite you to ponder on this:

• When was the last time you sat down with a blank piece of paper and dared to dream about your ideal business life and personal life?
• If you started from scratch how would you want things to be in all areas of your life?
• What needs to happen for you to start shooting for that?

The blank piece of paper represents just having the time and space to think so that you can make sure you are designing the life you really want.

What will you do to give yourself regular blank piece of paper moments?