Comments on: The Obstacle That Will Kill Your Ideal Lifestyle

By: Ali Davies

Ali Davies — Thu, 19 May 2011 13:34:00 +0000

Cheryl,
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a reminder to keep focussed on our own lifestyle deisgn plans and to be aware of when we are being seduced by outside forces which will pull us off track.
We need to let go of our mistakes so that it does not suck the energy out of us from designing what we want to have happen next.

By: Cheryl Balmas

Cheryl Balmas — Thu, 19 May 2011 13:22:00 +0000

Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes. I remember very distinctly telling my husband early on in our marriage (30 years ago) that I never wanted to own a home with a mortgage so hefty that if ‘forced’ me to have to work full time when the kids were small or work in jobs I hated just to pay the mortgage. Well, we almost stuck to that and throughout my work life I have had the honor and freedom to be able to have a variety of schedules with flextime, part time, telecommuting, etc. Then we made that one fatal mistake: remortgaged the home to remodel it. I mean, too much HGTV and seeing neighbors remodeling and weakness and bam! One big hefty bill hanging over my head at a time when the economy is bad, jobs in Michigan are scarce, mine went away and I’m at a point in life where reduced hours are desired for having a lifestyle that includes time with my parents, grandchildren and semi-retired spouse. Instead I’m feeling a loss of freedom and lifestyle choice to pay the cost of that moment of weakness. Great kitchen but I don’t even cook much.

By: Ali Davies

Ali Davies — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:59:24 +0000

Juli, thanks for your kind words about the blog. Glad you like it. Sounds like you had a really strong intention to break the habit. It is interesting that you mention “rewards” versus “sacrifice”. I see it the same way. The biggest reward for me of breaking the consumerism habit was being able to live closer to my values each and every day. Thanks for dropping by Juli.

By: Juli

Juli — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 05:15:38 +0000

Ali, this is my first visit to your blog and I love it!! Since turning 40 and with three young children, I have grown to realise, and perhaps re-evaluate the enormous satisfaction one can achieve from desensitizing to consumerism...It took me six weeks and I treated it like breaking any habit using tactics such as affirmations, visualisation and rewards etc. I can now walk past Gucci and down the isle of the supermarket without as much as a pang of desire...in fact if anything, I feel angry at the constant 'pitch'.

By: Ali Davies

Ali Davies — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:20:06 +0000

Hi Greg, funny you should mention Everett as I “found” him on twitter a few days ago and had a read of his blog. Interesting stuff. Agree with what you say about values – orientating you life around your core values is a key to real success and freedom on your terms as well as true fulfillment.

By: Ali Davies

Ali Davies — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:30:50 +0000

Thanks for your comment Cris. The bottom line for me, is it all about freedom to live fully, based on my values, on my own terms. To be a consumerism junkie would get in the way of that.

By: Cris

Cris — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:53:20 +0000

Hi Ali! First of all, I love the pic illustrating lifestyle freedom!

Thank you for cutting through the fog and clearly showing up consumerism….masquerading as lifestyle freedom. Enjoyed your metaphor of the hamster strapped to the wheel! Pretty straightforward!

I liked what Christine said about being guided by personal values. For me, lifestyle freedom means that I am free to do those things that are personally fulfilling. That may be saying the same thing in different words!

Good post Ali! I like how you speak up when you see the emperor wearing no clothes!

By: Greg V Miller

Greg V Miller — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:29:00 +0000

I really enjoyed this article and it reminded me of another blog that I read. http://farbeyondthestars.com I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Everett Bogue but he writes about and lives a minimalist life in order to be free and allow himself to live and work from anywhere he wants. A lot of people chase things that they “think” is suppose to make them happy which is why their life gets filled with stuff. For me it’s all about identifying your values and living your life in a manner that reflects and helps you achieve them.

By: Ali Davies

Ali Davies — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:35:17 +0000

Christine, your comment raises an important point to be clarified – it's not about being anti-consumerism. It's about making sure habits don't keep you trapped where you don't want to be. I think your comment illustrates perfectly that it is about making decisions around how our choices impact what is most imporatnt to us and putting appropriate plans in place to manage that.

By: Christine Livingston

Christine Livingston — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:09:53 +0000

I completely agree with the point you're making here, Ali. It's SO important to separate out what you need from what you want in this arena. For a good lifestyle you have to listen to yourself and what your heart tells you. It's more likely to guide you to choices based around your personal values. My key ones are creativity, relationship, fun, health, and freedom. "Wants" are more likely to be influenced by external reference - what looks good and what will make us feel like we're keeping up with others and with the trends.

I can be as consumerist as the next person, so I'll own that. But when I decided to live the lifestyle of my choice, one of the things my partner and I did was to do a big review of spending and to set budgets that didn't handcuff us to work that we didn't want to do. We decided what was really, really important to us from a consumption point of view, and budgeted for it. The rest got binned.

Provocative post!