Networking – Busting the Myth

Written on June 9, 2010 by Ali Davies in Business Success Blog
7 Comments - Leave a comment!

Networking: Busting the MythMany people go to networking events with the wrong intention in mind.

A lot of people still think the aim of going to networking events is to sell themselves and their products and services. Big mistake.

Here’s why:

How do you feel when, at a networking event, you feel pinned to the wall by some doughnut you have never met who is hellbent on getting you to buy their stuff? Horrible isn’t it? Personally I would never buy off these people. Nor would I recommend them to my clients or my personal network.

On the other hand, there are some lovely people who have great products but are paralysed by fear of coming across as “salesy”. As a result they act like wallflowers, skirting the room and not fully engaging or connecting with anyone.

And don’t get me start on speed networking. I’ll put it politely and say it isn’t for me! (if I wasn’t putting it politely I would say I would rather stick pins in my eyes than partake in this version of pimping yourself to as many people as you can in as little time as possible).

So let’s get one networking myth busted shall we?

Effective networking isn’t about selling your stuff or yourself

A huge sigh of relief for all of the wallflowers terrified of appearing “salesy” eh?

So, if effective networking isn’t about selling yourself and your stuff, what is it about?

Effective networking is about relationship building. Genuine relationship building.

Having said that, watch out for the networking groomers. These are the people who pretend to be building a relationship with you but really are only interested in getting something they want out of you. They are transparent. Avoid like the plague.

Always remember – People buy People

On that basis, who you are being is vastly more important than what your do. A powerful question to ask yourself is – How do I come across at networking events?

Effective networking habits

So, the thing to focus on is developing habits that build genuine relationships. Here are a few essentials:

  • Listen more than you talk
  • Engage
  • Add value (with no strings attach)
  • Be true to who you are
  • Focus on others

What would you add to this list?

Tags: , ,
  • Sharon Hearty
    Hi Ali, I think the big message here is 'add value' where you can. This is what many people seem to miss, if you give something of value, be it information that may answer a need or solve a problem they might be having, then you leave that person/s with a great impression of you without having had to be salesy. What I have found at networking events and I have to say I now avoid them is that people don't know how to engage properly and there is a mindset that it is all about 'selling yourself'.
  • Hi Sharon, like you, I don't attend many networking events anymore and am very selective about the ones I do attend. You hit on a very important point in your comment, and that is the role of mindset. The general mindset at these events gives off a certain type of energy. The challenge is to quickly ascertain if this is the sort of mindset and energy your want to be around. After all, you become what you surround yourself with!!
    I agree with what you say about the adding value thing. Yet many people role up to these things still with the mindset of how much can they get for how little they can give. A total turn off. Thanks for dropping by Sharon. I appreciate you taking the time to share your views.
  • Hi Ali. Great advice.

    For the folks who skirt the room because they are nervous (I used to be one of them so know what this can be like!) - start with a talk with the other person who is on their own (they are nervous too!).

    If there isn't anyone on there own, then look for the "open pair" - this is where two people are talking and their bodies are not facing each other totally - this suggest s they would be willing to let someone else in on their conversation. So if they are like this \ /, approach them, if they are like this | | - stay away!

    As for the rest of it - what Ali says!
  • Hi Barney, interesting observation and tip. Thanks for sharing it.
blog comments powered by Disqus