Whose opinions and advice do you listen to, or ask for, about your life and business plans, decisions, problems or any other aspect of your life and business? And why those people? It is well worth giving some thought to this. Here’s why:

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Be careful who you listen to

By careful who you listen to Whose opinions and advice do you listen to, or ask for, about your life and work plans, decisions, problems or any other aspect of your life and work?

And why those people?

It is well worth giving some thought to this. Here’s why:

People’s opinions and advice are based on who THEY are – not on who YOU are.

They are based on their own values, beliefs and fears. They are sometimes based on wanting you to live the life they want you to live.

Sometimes people have their own best interests at heart, not yours, when they are dishing out their opinions and advice.

And that could mean that you are listening to opinions and advice that are not right for you and might even be damaging to the life you want to create.

For example:

  • You want to change something in your work – have the people whose advice you are taking got proven experience and results in the thing you want to change? If not, on what basis have you decided to listen to their advice?
  • You want to make a significant change in your life – is Aunty Joan, lovely as she is, really the right person to listen to when she is totally risk adverse, frightened by change  and has never made big changes in her own life?
  • You have a family member who constantly criticises and doesn’t miss an opportunity to ram their uninvited opinions about you and your decisions down your throat – is this unhealthy and damaging behaviour something that you need to stop listening to and start protecting yourself from?

Who we choose to listen to and whose advice we take on board can have a huge impact on things like self esteem, confidence, decision making, quality of life and creating the life and work you really want.

How do you make sure you are listening to the right people?

The next time you are about to listen to the opinions of someone (or are having them forced upon you uninvited), you might find asking yourself these questions helpful:

1. Has this person got proven experience and achieved the results I want to achieve on the topic being discussed?

2. Does this person have my best interests at heart or their own?

3. Does this person want me to make the choices they want me to make rather than the ones that are right for me?

4. Is this person coming from a place of constructive support or is there some sort of negative agenda?

5. Is this person offering opinions and advice uninvited? If so, how appropriate is that to the situation?

6. Is this really the appropriate person to listen to on this topic?

Always choose who you listen to wisely – it can have a big impact on all areas of your life and work success.

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  • Thanks Ali – timely advice for me.  Ideas for new work projects are evolving and I am being given advice from well meaning friends – it can all get a bit confusing.  Thanks for helping me to step back and see things constructively.

  •  Delighted you found it useful Delia. Good luck with your new work projects.

  • Melanie Kissell

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post, Ali, and I LOVE the topic!

    So many times in life and in business we get what I call “well intended” advice.  Know what I mean?  Sadly, it’s not always the best advice.

    Of all the questions you’ve suggested we ask ourselves, this one takes a front seat for me:
    ” Does this person have my best interests at heart or their own?”  I believe others oftentimes have their own “agenda” in mind when doling out their nickel’s worth of advice.

    Shared your post with my fans and followers — Good stuff! 🙂
     

  • Hi Melanie, thanks for sharing this with your audience. I think it is a topic often overlooked – so creating awareness around the topic is great. Thanks for dropping by.

  • We’re TOTALLY sisters. Thank you for sharing this post and the sentiment! I agree 100% with everything you said!

  • Thanks Berni. Glad you liked it.

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  • Thanks Ali. #6 hit the nail on the head for me!

  • Ali Davies

    Glad you found it useful Jennifer.

  • Awesome, right on the mark. I wish I hadn’t listened to some of the people I did in the past. Some of them were definitely looking out for themselves much more than me. I guess to a certain extent that’s just human nature. You just can’t get ‘impartial’ from the people in your life who have any kind of stake in it.

    Anita

  • Ali Davies

    Anita, that is a great point about lack of impartialty. Everyone sees things through their own filters, values, beliefs and experiences – and act and communicate accordingly.

  • Haralee

    Great tips. Maturity helps and a dose of intuitiveness. I cringe when I think of some of the people I listened to when I was young!

  • You’re 6 questions are excellent advice for all situations in Life. It took me many decades to figure that out. Self love was involved- and trusting my own instincts. Thank you for the reminder.

  • Ali Davies

    I can totally relate to what you are saying.

  • Ali Davies

    Cheryl, so glad you found the questions useful. I think asking ourselves powerful questions can benefit any situation we find ourselves in.

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  • carla birnberg

    I love this because so many of us are lost and looking for direction and cling to the first so called expert we can find…

  • claudoo

    I agree, good points!

  • Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • That is why it is good, and powerful, to have a “due dilligence” process for ourselves.

  • I love this Ali! Definitely an important thing to think about. This one small thing can make a huge difference in your life.

  • You are so right Rena – often it is small things, done regularly and consistently, that give big results.

  • I think this is good advice. We go to different people for advice on different topics, and it’s important to understand where each is coming from.

  • I love this! So many people will be quick to offer advice on whatever battle you are facing but are they answering on behalf of themselves only? Most of the time, yes. They don’t know how we are feeling about the situation so how can they really give advice?

    Beautiful post. Thanks!

  • Thanks Brenda. Glad you enjoyed it. You make a great point.

  • Yes indeed Carol – beign aware of why we are listening to that specific person can be very powerful and liberating.

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  • Wendy Dewar Hughes

    I have often said, don’t listen to people who don’t know what they’re talking about—with regard to your situation. It’s a recipe for confusion and discouragement.

  • Hi Wendy, well said.