And why those people?
It is well worth giving some thought to this. Here’s why:
People’s opinions and advice are based on who THEY are – not on who YOU are.
They are based on their own values, beliefs and fears. They are sometimes based on wanting you to live the life they want you to live.
Sometimes people have their own best interests at heart, not yours, when they are dishing out their opinions and advice.
And that could mean that you are listening to opinions and advice that are not right for you and might even be damaging to the life you want to create.
- You want to change something in your work – have the people whose advice you are taking got proven experience and results in the thing you want to change? If not, on what basis have you decided to listen to their advice?
- You want to make a significant change in your life – is Aunty Joan, lovely as she is, really the right person to listen to when she is totally risk adverse, frightened by change and has never made big changes in her own life?
- You have a family member who constantly criticises and doesn’t miss an opportunity to ram their uninvited opinions about you and your decisions down your throat – is this unhealthy and damaging behaviour something that you need to stop listening to and start protecting yourself from?
Who we choose to listen to and whose advice we take on board can have a huge impact on things like self esteem, confidence, decision making, quality of life and creating the life and work you really want.
How do you make sure you are listening to the right people?
The next time you are about to listen to the opinions of someone (or are having them forced upon you uninvited), you might find asking yourself these questions helpful:
1. Has this person got proven experience and achieved the results I want to achieve on the topic being discussed?
2. Does this person have my best interests at heart or their own?
3. Does this person want me to make the choices they want me to make rather than the ones that are right for me?
4. Is this person coming from a place of constructive support or is there some sort of negative agenda?
5. Is this person offering opinions and advice uninvited? If so, how appropriate is that to the situation?
6. Is this really the appropriate person to listen to on this topic?
Always choose who you listen to wisely – it can have a big impact on all areas of your life and work success.